Your favourite accounting jokes…

Here’s our top 10, in no particular order:

Why are accountants so cool, calm, and collected?

They have strong internal controls.

How many accountants does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

How many did it take last year?

What do you call an accountant without a spreadsheet?


What do you call an accountant with an opinion?

An auditor.

What does an accountant say when getting on a train?

Mind the GAAP.

Why do you always get a good welcome when you visit the accounting department?

Because it’s a place where everyone counts!

What do you call an accountant without a calculator?


How does Santa’s accountant value his sleigh?

The Net Present Value (too early?).

What do accountants suffer from that ordinary people don’t?


Why do accountants seem to lead a happy life?

Because they are able to achieve balance most of the time.

Thanks to LHH and Taxdome for these. If you have a better one do send it to